Chances are, if you’re a woman, you’ve been exposed to girl-bashing. Nasty talk about other women, as a weird and totally messed up way of lifting ourselves up. If that’s not horrible enough, many of us carry this into adulthood. I want you to be honest with yourself for a moment...
Have you ever put down another woman, to her face or behind her back, in order to lift yourself up?
I hate to admit it, but I have.
Although I’ve played my role in girl bashing, I like to think of myself as reformed now. And I’m a huge advocate for support, empowerment and love-filled high fives between women. There’s no question, the world needs more of that. (Cue corny high fives)
So why do we girl bash?
It’s built into our culture. Our mothers did it, our sisters, our friends, the magazines we see, the shows we watch, and how could I not mention that horrible Meghan Trainor song, that puts down ‘skinny bitches’ because apparently ‘booty’s back’ ???
I 100% believe that this behaviour comes from fear. Fear of not fitting in or being accepted for who we truly are. Which is ironic because by participating in this behaviour we’re only throwing more wood on the ‘ I’m scared to be myself’ fire.
I want you to be honest with yourself again …
Are you afraid to show the world the real you?
Because darling, you don’t need to be. You have something perfectly special that you need to offer the world. You have beautiful gifts and talents that will make this a better place to live, and by keeping those to yourself we all miss out.
Here are my top tips for cutting the girl bashing and unleashing your inner love-champion…
DO THE WORK
You need to look at where your fears are coming from. What is it that stoking your fire? Practice self love, strip back the layers, and connect with what’s going on inside.
In order to experience your truth you must offer yourself radical kindness.
Be kind. Be patient. And be brave enough to be honest with yourself.
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Use intention when deciding who you spend time with. Don’t move towards certain people out of habit. If someone encourages you towards old ways, maybe you need to spend less time with them. It doesn’t have to be nasty, just choose to put a little less time into that relationship.
We’re creatures of habit, and breaking a cycle will always bring up resistance. My advice? Always choose love.
This year I have experienced first hand, over and over, how the universe will provide you with true blessings when you open yourself up to receive them. Make way for loving relationships, and I promise they will find their way to you.
To yourself, and to others. You might choose to have a conversation with the person at the fruit and vegetable store. Or maybe you will send love and light to someone in your mediation practice. Maybe volunteering is your style.
The aim here is to see people as beautiful humans, just like you. We are all here to contribute to the world in a different way, and recognising people as human, will help you find compassion.
The funny thing about giving love to others, is that at the same time it fills your own heart with love. Maybe even more than when you receive it.
Let’s support and empower each other to greatness, there’s plenty to go round!
So what will you do this week to stop the girl bashing and unleash your champion for love? I’d love you to share your thoughts on this juicy post below, or catch me on social media so we can chat about it there.