Seeing someone you love go through a stage of intense personal growth can be exciting. Watching them find their way with a new vision of the world is amazing. I know when I've seen people around me grow into themselves, I've felt incredibly excited and proud of them. In the same way I'm sure they feel, when it's me doing the growing.
But how do you support someone whose life seems to have been flipped on its head? Especially when you're so close to them?
I don't claim to have all the answers to relationships, but I do believe that heart felt support comes down to three things, love, honesty and patience. We can complicate it with strategies, steps and tools, but through growth, I believe if you boil it right down, you're left with this three ingredients...
Allow love to be your guiding light, but give your loved one the chance to find this within themselves. When you see that someone you care for is fragile, remind them of your love. Go further than just the words 'I love you'. Although powerful, sometimes words fall on deaf ears. What can you can do to show your love? Maybe a text to say how much you care. A special delivery of their favourite (nourishing) food. Run them a bath and cook dinner. Send them a handwritten card. It's those little things that make us feel supported and cared for most while we're doing internal work.
This also means no-ultimatums, no hidden agendas, and no resentment.
It's harder than you think, but putting any extra pressure on their shoulders will only make the task at hand all the more difficult. Put your own needs aside, just for now.
Have you ever allowed your love for someone to get in the way of being honest? I know I have.
Although it usually comes from a place of caring, it's not always the right answer. When asked, you should always offer the truth. Not to be mistaken for rudeness. Remember that these three ideas need to be pulled together as one beautiful supportive person. Honesty without love isn't enough.
Choose your words wisely and offer them with no hidden agenda.
Choose to keep their best interests at heart.
Learn when is the right time to speak up, and when you should step back.
I believe the hardest of all.
How can I sit here and watch my person go through this when I know I have all the answers? I could take away all of their pain right now.
The hard part is, this is their lesson to learn. It's not your job to save them. Your job is to offer love and support, and allow their own personal growth.
As you would practice mindfulness towards your own life, you need to do his towards others as well. Appreciate that they are just where they need to be, and not a moment too late.
Their life is unfolding in perfect order, as is yours. Trust that everything will work out as it should.
Now I want to here from you. What have you struggled with when watching someone you love move through a growth period? How did you overcome it? Share your thoughts in the sacred space below.
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