LOVE FEAR AND INTENTIONS – WHY SHIFTING FOCUS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE (FOR REAL)
Not too long ago I was having a conversation with one of my clients about her vision for the future. We were particularly talking about her career.
She’s amazing with small business and loves the idea of working with small business owners to help them take their businesses to the next level. Essentially, her ideal career is as a Business Coach.
Fantastic! What a great path to head down, and one that matches perfectly with her skills, talents, passions and experience.
But there was one hurdle. She despised the job title ‘coach’. We did some digging and realised that this came from past experiences that she had attached to the idea of coaching.
In her mind. the picture of a coach was tainted as sleazy, salesey and driven by money.
It was at this point that I realised the issue wasn’t about the career path of being a coach, it was about the intention behind it.
The difference was so obvious to me, once she told me the story. You see the ‘coaches’ she had experienced in the past did what they did for the intention of making money – and were typically ego driven.
The type of coach my client wants to be is first and foremost, one who serves. For my client, it comes from love.
Although on the surface, both are ‘coaches’ their intentions couldn’t be further from each other, and that’s why they had rubbed my client the wrong way.
I’d love you to stop for a second and think about the intention behind reading this post.
Why did you click open/read and why have you continued to read it? Is it because you want to learn more about this topic? Or is it fear of missing out? Maybe it’s something else.
What is the intention behind why you eat the way you do? Is it because you’re hungry and just want to feel full? Is it because you want to be as thin as you can be? Or is it because you want to nourish your body?
Although on the surface things can appear to be the same, it’s the intention behind it that matters most, and chances are if someone rubs you the wrong way when it appears you have something in common, their intention is most likely different to yours.
WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO COME FROM LOVE?
Love is our natural state, this is how our body, mind and spirit are designed to function at their best. So when you align your choices and actions with love, you are destined to live your best life!
It’s a pretty cool thought huh?
TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, CHOOSE LOVE.
Although this sounds fantastic, it can be really hard, because sometimes (most times) love will lead you down a path you haven’t walked before and that can be scary.
IN ORDER TO CHOOSE LOVE, YOU MUST ALSO UNDERSTAND FEAR
Fear is a natural response to keep us safe. We need fear.
BUT (and I’m talking a huge Kim K size but)….
WE CAN'T LET FEAR RULE THE SHOW.
Because that’s a sure fire way to feel disconnected, unhappy, lonely and depressed.
HERE’S A FUN LITTLE ANALOGY FOR YOU TO TRY
Imagine fear as the voice over in the supermarket, asking you to take a look at the specials in isle 3.
Mentally, say thanks to that lady (fear) for sharing that with you. But then carry on with what you’re doing, because you don’t need a super jumbo pack of toilet paper today (whatever fear is telling you to do).
Allow her to say what she’s got to say, and then continue with what you were doing.
Fear’s voice is loud and dominating, and it’s full of opinions and ideas to keep you right where you are.
But love wants you to move forward. Love is that inner voice, the gut instinct, the warm feeling in your heart when you do something that lights you up.
MY THREE STEP PROCESS TO CHOOSING LOVE OVER FEAR
Now that you’ve read this, you can’t unlearn it (Sorry, not sorry). You’re becoming aware of choosing love, and that’s the best place to start. For the next week, I’d love you to ask yourself why you’re making certain decisions. And take notice of where fear seems to be running the show.
2. PEN IT
Have a notebook handy, or do a little download at the end of the day. Write down the areas that fear is taking control. Get to the core of the issue, not the story. Here’s an example …
Your friend wants you to go out with her on Saturday night, but you really don’t feel like it. You’ve got a big week and you were planning on having a quiet night at home. But you don’t want to let her down so you say yes.
This was a choice of fear (don’t want to let her friend down) over love (honouring your body).
The core of the issue is resisting honouring yourself.
It’s not about not wanting to go out, or not wanting to let your friend down. It’s about not honouring yourself.
This is what you would write down.
3. WORK ON IT
Pick one area to work on, and give yourself the time you need to do that. Working on the above example of honouring yourself, maybe you could give yourself a little more ‘you’ time each week. Or next time someone asks you to go out with them, tune into what you truly want (love) and be brave enough to choose that. You can use the above supermarket analogy to help you establish whether you are choosing love or fear.
Without a doubt swapping from fear to love is hard work. But it’s the best work you will ever do, and I promise you that when you choose love, naturally you’ll Unleash your Brilliance!
I love chatting with you, so I’d love you to share with me in the comments below, one area that you can commit to choosing love in today. It doesn’t have to be a huge decision that will change your life forever, start small and follow through.