VULNERABILITY - THAT TIME I CRIED WHILE HOLDING A WORKSHOP
Last year I was given the opportunity to hold my own workshop within Zen Soul Life Yoga Retreat in Byron Bay. It was a total honour and lit the spark of ambition within me to soon host my own workshop. You can find my upcoming workshops here.
I was given free reign to base the workshop on whatever topic I chose that fitted within the mood of the retreat.
I had attended these retreats before, and felt that because they are such a transformative, letting go and re-birthing process, that a workshop on journaling would be a fantastic skill to hone or learn for the attendees.
Journaling is something that I have re-adopted in recent years, and has truly become a way of coping and navigating my way through the hardest moments of my life, but it has also become a direct link to my inner guide.
This is something I’m so passionate about, and encourage all of my clients to do, so I knew it was the idea place for me to impart inspiration on the beautiful women at that retreat.
WHEN I APPROACH ANYTHING, I ASK MYSELF 'HOW CAN I SHOW UP IN THE MOST AUTHENTIC WAY POSSIBLE?'
How I can I be the most honest and truthful version of Kate that I can be?
And so, for that particular workshop, I decided that I needed to bare all, and share my journey with the women in the room.
In order for them to understand how powerful journaling was for me, I had to tell my story.
This isn’t something that’s unusual for me. If you’ve read my blog for a while, you will know that I bare all. I don’t hold back and I tell you the truth. As I say, I wear my heart on my chest.
I BELIEVE HIDING WHO YOU ARE ISN'T A SIGN OF STRENGTH. BEING TRUTHFUL, OPEN AND VULNERABLE IS TRUE STRENGTH.
This doesn’t mean it’s easy though! Sometimes it’s totally scary, and after I hit share on some blog posts I want to hide into a bubble and secretly hope that no one reads what I’ve written.
But the most beautiful thing happens when you’re open, it encourages other people to be open too. And I’m always bombarded with love.
This particular event, was quite soon after Michael and I had been through IVF (blog posts coming on this soon) and it had been pretty rough. In fact, it was rough. There’s wasn’t really anything pretty about it. But journaling played a huge role in me moving through that phase of my life, so I knew it was so important to share my story. Even though it was raw, and still hurt (I think it always will), I knew I had to share it.
During the session I was nervous but also excited to share this beautiful practice with the women around me. I begun telling my story and although I’d practiced plenty of times before and made it through without so much as a tickle in my throat, in that moment, articulating my story, I felt emotion was over me like a summer downpour. And then came the tears.
And you know, deep down I felt okay. It wasn’t painful for me to re-live that moment in our lives. There was just a vulnerability attached to it. And when I went back there, I felt it again.
Instantly though I felt my nasty inner voice say ‘Kate this is so unprofessional, you’re teaching these women, and you’re crying’.
And just as quickly as that voice chimed in, my inner goddess knocked her down.
VULNERABILITY ISN'T WEAKNESS.
And when I reminded myself of that, I felt so proud that I was able to be so open, honest and raw with the women in that room, because that’s what I set out to do.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have emotions, and sometimes we need to release them.
In that moment I felt so supported by the women around me. There was no need to hug or soothe me, because I needed to feel what I was feeling. But their love filled me, and I felt supported. (More of this feminine support please?!)
And when I felt the wash of tears fade, I knew that I had honoured my truth in that moment. Which is exactly what I set out to do. Regardless of the outcome.
Will I cry when I’m speaking again?
I don’t know, but there’s a fair chance I will!
NEXT TIME THOUGH, I WON'T BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE MYSELF FOR BEING, MYSELF.
I’d love to know if this post struck something within you? Has there been a moment where you were honouring yourself, but quickly judged yourself and withdrew? Has there been a moment where you have judged someone else for showing their vulnerability? I'd love you to share your thoughts in the comments section below.