The Unexpected Lessons 2015 taught me
Over the past few weeks I’ve naturally been reflecting on the year that was. Come the end of the year, I love to reflect and get clear on what I’ve achieved, learnt, and grown through. It’s so easy to let New Year’s Eve slip by with no reference to our growth, focusing on the moments that were hardest, forgetting to acknowledge the good stuff.
There’s no question about it, 2015 has been the hardest year of my life.
But it’s also been the most transformative, and quite possibly one of the most rewarding.
I’m grateful for 2015, but if given the option, I wouldn’t want to do it again.
Is anyone with me on that?
Over the past twelve months, I closed down my business of 7 years to follow my heart (with no clear path in front of me), worked for someone else in a job that wasn’t aligned with my purpose (which was incredibly challenging for my soul), received my coaching qualification, had two operations, completed two IVF cycles – one unsuccessful, the other ending in miscarriage, and launched my beautiful new business.
Even writing that is kind of exhausting!
But it’s been the lessons after and during each of these events that have been the biggest moments for me, and brought me the most light and joy.
So right now as I sit quietly, I’m called to share my biggest lessons from 2015. The nuggets of beauty that have come from 2015, and how they have changed my perspective, and reminded me return to my natural state of love (Over and over again).
BE AWARE OF THE GOOD-TIME GUYS (AND GALS)
When life is smooth sailing, it can be quite easy to surround yourself with people. But this year, I learnt the true fundamentals of an honest friendship.
Genuine connection, a shared vision (this could be a common interest, shared values or a similar purpose in life) and love
In the midst of my pain, it was very obvious to me the friendships (and family for that matter) that I shared a certain alignment with.
This isn’t to say that I no longer have a relationship with the people who didn’t bring me a meal, or send a text when I was struggling, it just means that I am able to focus my attention into the friendships that I can bring love and value to, and those that bring love and value to me.
And on that note, it isn’t my place to say whether someone should or shouldn’t, do or be what I need or expect them to be. The more people following their truth in the world, the better, and if that means that we aren’t connected, that is totally okay!
YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ANYTHING – BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT WILL BE EASY
On the morning of my first surgery this year, I broke. I fell apart, I lost connection to myself. And I didn’t want to do it.
I flat out said ‘No, I’m not doing it’.
And I meant it.
I was so scared, I’d been there before, and I knew what was ahead of me.
All I could think about was the moments with my surgeon, before my previous operation. Knowing that in no time, she would be cutting my body open.
What it felt like in the moments before I went under the aesthetic.
How I felt when I woke.
It flooded me like a monsoon, and I flat out didn’t want to do it.
I cried and cried. And told Michael that I wouldn’t be going ahead with it. And the beautiful man that he is, told me that he supported whatever choice I made. (Even if that single choice would considerably lower our chances of ever having a child of our own)
But what I realised was that this was a step towards the greater good, and something that deep down I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be in that situation, but I wanted to be brave enough to step into that hospital and know that I was doing what my body needed me to do.
I was so brave in that moment, and so capable. But it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I believe we can do anything. But in order to be able to achieve anything, we need to choose to. We need to connect to why we want to do it, and hold that close. Because the actual steps can be the hardest things you will ever do. But when you tune in and remember why, it keeps you inspired and your eyes stay firmly on the prize.
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't - you're right!'
You need to back yourself.
I NEED SUPPORT AND YOU PROBABLY DO TOO
My mum has always loved and shared the quote ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, and I’d like to broaden that to ‘it takes a village to raise a person’. Because if we choose too, I believe we’re always growing and expanding – not just when we’re children.
And so, to me, this means that if we want to continue to grow, we need support.
Whether it’s a mentor, family, friends, a coach or a loved one.
No matter how strongly connected and spiritually aligned you are, sometimes you need someone to help lift you back up, give you hug or remind you that you’ve got this.
To ask for help isn’t a sign of weakness, in fact I believe it’s a sign of strength.
Without asking for help this year, I could of quite easily allowed myself to get stuck. And how silly would that be, considering there were people who wanted to support me?
Even if you don’t have family or friends close by, that doesn’t mean you can’t still lean on them. Give them a call, chat on Skype. Do whatever you need to, to make it work for you.
Don’t be afraid to accept love. There will always be a time when you can return the favour.
THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP I HAVE IS WITH MYSELF
This wasn’t something new for me to learn this year, but it was an area of my life that I stepped a little deeper into.
After following my inner goddess and choosing to close down my hair and makeup business in January, I quickly got myself a job working for someone else. It was an industry I didn’t know, but I stepped into it and quickly excelled.
I enjoyed what I was doing, and I got a lot of joy and satisfaction from it, but my heart wasn’t in it. And every day I walked in the front door, there was a physical discomfort that filled my body.
I wanted to leave and pursue my deeper calling that was beginning to come to light, but I kept finding a reason not to.
Until I realised that no one else was going to give me permission, nor fully understand the way I was feeling. If I wanted to honour myself and truly nurture my soul, I needed to make that decision to leave all on my own.
Although I had my husband’s support, I could sense some fear in him. But I knew that I had to trust myself, and go for it.
If I chose to base my decisions on the fears of the people around me, I will never live a life that feels good for me.
I knew that in order to honour that inner connection to myself that I had worked so hard to strengthen, I had to follow my gut, and trust that the Universe would provide.
This whole experience reminded me just how important it is to listen to what my body and soul are calling for. No one else can tell me what to do, or give me permission. It’s up to me to follow my inner goddess – in fact I believe it’s the only way to live a life of truth.
Same goes for you my love.
This whole experience with deepening my connection to myself, and strengthening my self love muscle, was the very reason I decided to host my upcoming workshop. Tickets go on sale on Monday.
WHEN YOU FOLLOW YOUR SOUL, THE WORLD FLOWS
After I built up the courage, left my day job and bravely stepped into the unknown, something amazing happened.
Suddenly life begun to flow in a way that it never had before.
In my hair and makeup business there were always set-backs, hurdles, dramas – and although I was successful in what I was doing, it was a hard slog, and incredibly draining.
This time though, it’s different.
Opportunities are arriving for me, I’m meeting incredible people who want nothing from me other than for me to be myself.
My writing just comes to me.
On the deepest level I’ve ever felt, I feel flow.
This is for one reason and one reason only..
When you’re brave enough to follow your inner goddess, the universe will support you.
When you’re in sync with your purpose, life unfolds gently and beautifully.
This year has been a big one, and I’ve learnt so many valuable lessons. I’m really grateful that I’m able to share them with you, in the hope that they inspire you to look for the lessons you’ve learned in the past 12 months. If you’re feeling brave and open, I’d love you to share one of your lessons with me in the comments section below - you inspire me more that you will ever know.