YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT

‘I want more balance in my life. That’s what I really want’.

‘What’s your definition of balance?’

‘(Long pause) Well… I’m not really sure.’  

This conversation plays out in one way or another, with almost all of my one-on-one clients, we think we know what we want, and so we set out on a path to achieve it. But we miss a vital step.

We don’t acknowledge what it actually means to be balanced (or whatever the word is for you), what it will look like, or most importantly what it will feel like to achieve.

This is the danger of wellness industry buzz words. They conjure up an ideal of what we think we need in our life to be happy.

When words like balance, authentic, healthy, whole and cold-pressed, get thrown around, I think I would be on the money to assume the picture your mind paints, is of a slender woman, tanned skin, long healthy hair, with a smoothie in hand and kick-arse Instagram feed.

And so those visual – let’s call them markers – become your minds picture of balance. So then our minds tell us that when we look like said slender-woman, we will be balanced, and in turn, when we’re balanced, we will be happy.

Our mind creates it's own definition and visual of what words mean, unless we tell it otherwise. 

Penny dropping?

The key here is to really think about the words you’re using, particularly in relation to your goals. What do they actually mean to you?

Take a minute now to write down your current goals, intentions or areas you’re working on. Now look at the words.
Do you have a clear understanding of what each of those means to you?
It might even work for you to write your own definition of the word.

For me balance conjures up the idea that all areas of my life would be ‘in check’ at any one time. But I actually don’t think this is possible.
So instead, I choose the word flow.
Because the word flow gives me the feeling of ease, and gently moving through ups, downs, grace and pain.

Words matter. But it’s the intention behind them that makes them so much more powerful.

How are the words you’re using giving you a misguided idea of your goals and aspirations?

Really think about what they mean to you, and how it will fit into your life.

This is the power of setting Rock-Solid goals.

If you need more on this, and you’ll be in Melbourne on the 10th December, I’m hosting an intimate workshop, LEAP How to set & achieve rock solid goals, that change your life.

Now I’d love to hear from you. What words have you been using, and what are you going to change them to? Share your discoveries on the comments section below. And remember hundreds of women stop by here daily, your words might be the inspiration they need to make a shift in their own life. This blog is your space to share too.

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Kate Caddle

Kate Caddle is a life coach, writer, & intimate event facilitator.

She works with women whose lives look great on paper, but don’t feel so great on the inside. Helping them overcome jealousy, comparison and perfectionism, so they can take back their power, stop playing victim, and show up in their full potential.