On Sunday I was lucky enough to attend the last leg of the Food Matters tour in Brisbane. It was such a beautiful event, hosted by Earth Events, and I took a lot away from it. Plus it sparked a sparked some deep thinking for me.
For some time now, I’ve been pondering ‘stress’. What is it, why is it so prevalent and how do we allow it to take over our lives?
Obviously on a practical level, we all understand stress, but it’s the deeper mechanics of it, that I want to talk about today.
I mean, if we all understand it, and we know it’s bad for our health, why do we still enter into it? Why do we entertain it, and allow ourselves to be consumed by it?
THESE THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS ARE COMING DIRECT TO YOU FROM A SERIAL-STRESSOR IN THE MIDST OF HEALING.
If I rewind a little to high school, I think that’s where it all began for me. I was modelled what stress looked like by people I admired, and my predisposition to be a people pleaser told me, that in order to be who I wanted to be, do the things I wanted to do and have the things I wanted to have – stress was a big part of that.
I didn’t see it as a negative, rather something that ‘just was’, and there was no way I saw it that consciously as a teenager, but I soaked it up and took it on.
Over 10 years later (when did I get old?!) I can see that I was behaving in a way that reflected what I had been modelled. And it spiralled. And just like that, stress became part of my identity.
It wasn’t until I hit my low point with surgery, that I started learning about what stress actually does to the body. And I realised that it was affecting me more than I ever thought it would.
I KNEW RIGHT THEN, THAT IN MY MIND IT HAD BECOME COOL TO BE STRESSED, AND BEING ZEN WAS HIPPY, WOO-WOO, CHILDISH AND IRRESPONSIBLE.
Talk about realisation.
Since then I’ve worked to change my mindset on stress, and over extending myself, but it’s hard. And I often notice myself slipping back into old habits.
On Sunday, while listening to one of the speakers, I had a total moment of clarity.
STRESS IS ABOUT SOMETHING DEEPER THAN MIMICKING BEHAVIOURS.
It’s about a deeper emotional issue that I need to heal. And the way that I act out based on that emotional pain point, is to push and overextend myself to counteract my ‘shortcomings’, causing myself to be stressed.
Yeah. Wow again.
So I want to ask you today to go deeper. Because when you get to the heart of something, you really set yourself up for deep healing, and then huge growth, and I want to see that for you.
GRAB YOUR JOURNAL AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS ...
What consistently causes me stress?
Why does it cause me stress?
Why do I allow myself to be consumed by it?
Is there something that I’m trying to prove to myself, someone else or the world that is feeding the stress in my life?
What areas of my life do I feel inadequate in? Does this have any connection to my physical behaviours around stress?
What do I need to heal in order to let go of the stress and pressure I put on myself?
This is a huge topic, and in order to heal and move forward you need to be incredibly brave.
When I was diving into past belief systems that seem to be holding space, they went right back to when I was about 8 years old. That’s 20 years ago!
Keep digging until you uncover the things holding you back, but remember to practice radical kindness towards yourself. Approach this with love and acceptance, and remember that you have walked this path for a reason. There is a divine plan at play.
If you’re feeling extra brave, I’d love you to share your revelations with me in the comments section below, or if you’re feeling a little more private, I’d love you to shoot me an email. Don’t forget, I’m a coach, and supporting you through growth is what I love to do, so reach out!