On Friday I decided to take a self love day, because frankly I was about to explode. I had been internalising (not in a good way), and I needed to reconnect with myself.
I could feel old habits creeping in, and the dreaded ego-based excuse of 'you don't have time' was popping up around anything that was remotely self care based.
Because the truth is, I'm human.
(Although sometimes I pretend I'm a mermaid)
And some days I don't meditate, I don't journal, and I don't priorotise myself.
Sometimes I let work and caring for others take the front seat.
Because I find it easier.
Much easier than caring for myself.
But I'm not here to live an easy life.
I'm here to grow, expand, explore, challenge myself, understand this body I've been given, and connect to something much bigger than me.
Sometimes though, my ego takes over, and that's when the things that make me whole slip away.
And so begins the downward spiral.
It's happened plenty of times before, and I know it will happen again.
And that's ok.
I'm totally ok with it.
Because whenever we grow, we experience resistance in some form.
And the tricky thing is, resistance (ego), can disguise itself as lots of things, and trick us into thinking it is 'truth'.
But it's not.
Love is truth.
When you show up for love, love shows up for you.
Love is your guiding light, and the gateway to connecting to your soul. Your purpose. And the divine that lies within. (Yes, there is divine within you beautiful)
When we show up to our challenges with love as our guide, that is when we truly begin to live a life of love.
I could have easily, bashed myself emotionally for letting my practice slip. Told myself I slipped up and I'd ruined everything. I could have told myself that I'm stupid, or asked why am I not like others, or who the hell am I to teach these practices? I could have kept this to myself, and not shared it with you.
But, like I said I’m human.
And I don’t want you to be like me.
I want you to be like you.
So I didn't go there, because that's what ego would do.
Instead, I chose love.
I became aware of what was happening.
I tuned into the vibration of love.
And I did what a loving mother would do if her child had slipped over.
I picked myself up, reminded myself that I'm perfect just as I am, and gave it another shot.
How can you show up with love when you fall down?
Can you let go of the nasty egoic commentary that only works to push you back over?
Can you remind yourself that you are a divine soul, but you're having a human experience and that means your ego is coming along for the ride?
If this whole idea is foreign and scary - that's ok! Remember to show up to whatever you're feeling, with love.
Watch what happens.