There's no smoke and mirrors here. We don't always feel happy, and to desire a life where that is the case, is just not realistic.
I believe it is part of life to experience the full spectrum of emotions, and to comfortably sit in each, without feeling the desire to race to the next. But the idea of core-radiating happiness being the base line, thats pretty exciting right?
But in order to feel that, we need to understand the process of feeling, releasing and returning back to peace with our emotions.
You know when you feel upset, and you reach for something to bring you joy? A book, a tv show, food... They are all tricks of the mind to pull you out of that emotion as quick as possible, when really it's an opportunity to find comfort in that discomfort. Which I know is a lot easier said than done!
We are having a human experience, and when we experience something that challenges us, it's an opportunity for growth.
You see, on an intellectual level, our body perceives negative emotions as a threat, and so our mind does all it can to distract us from them.
But when we don't feel what we need to feel, the emotion and story get stored in our body, like a brick in a backpack, for us to deal with later. But in most cases, later never actually comes! Instead those emotions manifest into illness within our body as time passes by.
Seem a little far fetched? I recommend the documentary E-motion, to explain this concept beautifully.
So how do you find comfort in the discomfort, and how will that actually make you happy?
Think of a young child for a moment. When they feel an emotion they are all in. Happy, sad, angry, hungry, tired... Whatever it might be, they experience that emotion in it's full capacity. And it's easily witnessed from the outside. Then once they have felt that emotion, they move on. Like a light switch they return back to their base line.
When we fully feel into an emotion, experiencing it in it's entirety, we are able to move through it a whole lot quicker.
Rather than pushing it to the side, all day long, to deal with later, we allow it to pass.
I can hear you saying, it's not always appropriate to scream at the woman at work, because I feel angry with her.
You're right, that is rarely appropriate.
The key is to release your emotions in a way that doesn't impact others.
Here are a few ways that I release my emotions in a healthy way....
- I EXCUSE MYSELF
If I'm in a situation where there are other people around and I feel I need to cry, I will excuse myself and take a moment in the bathroom to release what is just below the surface. I see this as an opportunity to let go. It's not about feeling sorry for myself, rather just releasing what is bubbling up for me.
This is by far my favourite way to release my emotions without harming others. Free writing for as long as I need to, saying all the things I think I want to say out loud, clearing out every thought my mind is sharing with me, and then never reading it again. I sometimes run events that teach you how to journal and set intentions. Stay up to date with the events I'm running here.
When we get present and still within our body, even for a few moments, we are often given the opportunity to release something that has been sitting below the surface. I'm always surprised by what the power of a few deep breaths can do in allowing a release.
- LOOK FOR THE COMFORT
In a yin-yoga class a little while ago, while holding a somewhat challenging pose for over 5 minutes, the teacher said, rather than focussing on the part of your body that is hurting, or uncomfortable right now, focus on the parts that feel good.
I love to apply this concept to the release of emotions. Rather than focusing on the fact that I feel sad for example, I might focus on my breath, relaxing my neck, a candle, or something else that just allows me to be present enough to allow the process of the release.
Now all of these processes are fantastic, but there is one big thing that you need to keep in mind when you are embarking on all of these.
Trust that you will not feel like this forever.
Trust that this will pass.
Trust that you will co me out of the darkness, and you will feel joy again.
This is coming from someone who has experienced the deepest grief of loosing my unborn child. The kind of darkness I never imagined possible to feel.
But it did pass, it moves through me, and I can say hand-on-heart I feel more joy now, than I can ever remember feeling in my whole life.
And I'm not different to you.
I'm not more special, I wasn't granted a super power at birth, I wasn't given a secret pill to help me heal.
I was brave enough to feel what I needed to, and trust that those feelings would pass, and I would feel happy again.
After all this talk of embracing the pain, I'm sure you're wondering...
How does experiencing and feeling all of your emotions make you infectiously happy?
As a society in general we are completely oblivious to the idea that we don't fully feel what is true for us in each moment, so most of us are carrying around the burden of emotions that are sitting in our back pocket pulling us down, every single day. All robbing us of true happiness.
As you unpack those emotions, and stop overfilling your pocket, it becomes much easier to feel happiness, joy, elation and pleasure. In fact, you allow those feelings to become your baseline.
And as you spend more and more time in a state of joy, your energy begins to shift.
You start to feel different.
You smile more.
You feel grateful.
You see people for who they are, and you naturally offer them love.
When you live authentically, you inspire others to do the same.
Be the change you wish to see in the world, right?
This, is infectious.